hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
