That's when you crack a 10am beer
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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