Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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