Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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