90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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