Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
