well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
