her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
