I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I came so hard my ears popped.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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