yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
