Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
