4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
