Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
