Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
