my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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