These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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