Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
