Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
