IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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