I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
