I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
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