How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
