I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
