So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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