WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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