i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
