the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
