i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
