He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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