I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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