He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
