k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
