put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
