I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
