Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
