Already got asked if we're dating
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You dont lie about slip and slides
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
