When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
