definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
