so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
