Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
