just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Who died my cat blue again?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
