Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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