we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
