i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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