Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
