I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
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Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
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He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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