"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
