i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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