You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
