Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize