I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
