i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
