A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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