then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
