I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
