3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
