If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
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