Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize