Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
