why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
