There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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