my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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