SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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