I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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