it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
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i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
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Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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