i don't like sucking hair
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
